UPSIDE UP

What to watch when bored:  how about …something Uplifting…. something Updated…. something Unlikely…Something on the UPSIDE!

Wanted to see the UPSIDE in the theater, but missed it!   Dang It.   I was Delighted to see it had made it to REDBOX, and I plugged in my dollar and got Uplifted!

The UPSIDE is a heartwarming, true story of a paraplegic and a parolee: An Unlikely duo, to be sure.

The smart-alecky Kevin Hart is a somewhat smarmy, down on his luck parolee looking for signatures stating he was “looking” for a job, not that he was actually “applying” for one.

The reticent recluse in Brian Cranston is an unhappy and disinterested participant in seeking a caregiver, which his demure Executive Assistant, Nicole Kidman is the driver of this project.

The result is an unusual pairing of two unlikely souls who absolutely compliment and UPLIFT each other, and by doing so, Uplift You!

Kevin Hart’s character Dell, a thief by trade, is not cut out to be a caregiver, but at $3000 a week, he finds he can live with it.   Phil, Brian Cranston’s character, is a wealthy entrepreneur who was in a hang-gliding accident and therefore immobile and antisocial, and in need of some humor and return to adventure.

Dell has to learn certain aspects of care-giving and protocols, like hosting parties and being silent at operas, which at first glance, is not his forte.  Phil on the other hand, needs to learn to loosen up a bit, and Dell is just what the Doctor ordered, taking Phil on joy rides in his Ferrari and introducing him to the pain-killing joys of smoking pot and eating hot dogs.

There are several amusing and entertaining scenes throughout the movie:  Dell takes up painting and Phil engages in smoking a little weed when the moment moves him, not to mention Dell orchestrating Mozart’s Magic Flute opera in the living room. There are warm moments, funny moments and sad moments, however, the film is entertaining and leaves your heart in a warm and fuzzy place.

 Ok, so the story line is a little cliché, it’s a little lighthearted, it’s a little predictable, however, for a light night on the UPSIDE, this little, light-hearted, true story will UPLIFT you.

3-2-1 Blast Off with ROCKETMAN

Blast off into a world of inflated flamboyance, colorful costumes, magnificent music and a charismatic character who will squeeze your heart till you cry:  Elton John’s ROCKETMAN!

Wasn’t quite sure what to expect from the film which I’d been anxious to see.  Unlike Bohemian Rhapsody which I saw on the small screen, I awaited ROCKETMAN’s arrival at the theater with anxious anticipation, as I know every engaging Elton John song by heart.   Indeed, each and nearly every Elton John song evokes an emotional and endearing memory for me.

The movie proved to contain more substance, more real life, more depth than I thought it would and it was extraordinary and enchanting!   A brilliant mix of music, dance, rehab, relationships and special effects that took off with a bright, breathtaking opening scene and continued its sky-rocketing journey through Elton’s tumultuous rise from Reggie Dwight to Elton John.

Elton’s rise to fame as a poor, lonely British boy is told through a series of vignettes recounting memories while sharing in a rehab group.  However, each vignette is met with something extraordinary, whether it be singing underwater, a dance production with the whole neighborhood, or enchanting an entire bar full of fans and raising them literally off their feet, the director adds innovative and provocative moments to a story we’ve heard before about a star rising to fame though liquor bottles and snorts of cocaine and makes it into a wondrous ride down the rabbit hole.

What surprised me was the intense trauma and sadness that encompassed and tortured Elton John’s life throughout his childhood and amazing rise to fame and fortune.  Also surprising was how he landed on his stage name:  Elton John.   The movie was a sparkling display of what makes a movie great.

Taron Egerton will undoubtedly get an Academy Award for his superior portrayal of Elton John, even singing the songs himself.   His performance is gut-wrenching and he had me in tears…and I NEVER cry in movies (at least it’s very rare, unless it’s a Hallmark movie, of course!).  He appeared to embody Elton John in every respect and truly seemed to channel Elton’s real personality…but Elton’s still alive!

Also, an honorable mention must go to the tremendous Richard Madden (Netflix- THE BODYGUARD) who was superbly maddening in his portrayal of John Reid, Elton’s manager!  With shining black hair and blazing sapphire-blue eyes, it was no wonder that the impressionable young Elton would fall for the wiles of a RICO SUAVE like John.  Their tragic love affair really enraged emotions in defense of an unsophisticated Elton.

And making a surprise and unexpected appearance, a surprise because I didn’t recognize her, was Elton’s mom, played perfectly by Bryce Dallas Howard.  Wow, Ron’s daughter has really grown up and taken on some serious roles.   I really hated her…which made me love her!

Elton John’s journey through his past as told through alcoholic rehab sessions will honestly grab you by the throat, twist your ear and fully turn on the waterworks.    You honestly feel like Elton is your lonely, lost friend, and you want to hug him and give him the love he missed out on as a child and naïve adult!  You simply want to lift him up and make him feel better.   However, there’s really no need, because by the end of our delightful, disturbing movie, you’ll see that our ROCKETMAN really takes off and you know that He’s Still Standing stronger that he Ever did, looking like a True Survivor and feeling like a little kid!!

NO.. DON'T BITE ME!!

MEG - ASAURUS WRECKS:  THE MEG

The deep blue sea ~~ is there anything on this earth more inviting??  Yes, yes there is!  How about a nice chlorine induced, wave less, fish-less, SHARKLESS swimming pool!!  Nothing says jump in and enjoy yourself like a pool with no Giant fish, no Giant octopus, no Giant waves, and most importantly, no GIANT SHARKS named MEGALADON!! 

That having been said, there IS something inviting about a cool 3-D theater in the summer heat, a frolicking fun cast, an beautifulastounding azure sea, and a thrilling tour through the deep blue ocean with the handsome, hunky, hero, Jason Statham!  Whew, I thinkI’m sure I’d dive in the deep blue after him.

The wild andwildly wonderful WARNER BROTHERS regaled AMC Stub Card Holders with a Free Private Screening of THE MEG, the New JAWs on the block!  First, KUDOS to WARNER BROS, my favorite studio, for providing such an engaging, exciting movie in THE MEG. Second, THANK YOU for having your security staff announce that Anyone caught Texting, talkingTalking, or otherwise annoyingAnnoying the other theater goers, would be escorted from the Theater!!  Bravo!!  Why don’t they do that at the beginning of EVERY movie??  It was silent as a church (other than the movie sounds), there were no flashes of Facebook, no Texting on Twitter, and everyone really enjoyed the movie.!! WHHAAAA??  It’s true!

Okay, so the MEG, standard shark fare, just BIGGER, BADDER, and TEETHIER! 

The story begins with an international undersea observation program launching 3 divers in a deep-sea sub into the depths of darkness beyond what mankind has previously known.  However, the sub is attacked at the bottom of the sea by a shamelessly sinister, sizeable shark who renders the sub helpless. As the crew and sub lie hopelessly incapacitated at the bottom of the ocean and quickly running out of air, the station masters call on Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham) to come to the rescue.  But Jonas won’t go as he is now a happy drunk in Thailand drowning his sorrows at the loss of his best friend after his own ship was attacked years ago by the massive mythical prehistoric shark named Megalodon.  When he had shared his story of survival at the time, no one believed him and instead labeled him “crazy.”  I would Not call Jason ANYTHING derogatory if I were anyone…and I am…someone.

Of course, when he learns that one of the crew members in the sub is his own ex-wife, Laurie…well, he’s on the next copter to the international station and quickly dons a tight wet suit and jumps into the nearest sub.   So happy his ex is trapped in the sub, right?  Any reason at all to see Jason shirtless😊 

Jonas teams up with the daughter of the Chinese Oceanographer, Suyin (Li Bingbing), and together they brave the deep in spite of the shark to save the small submerged crew and locate and destroy the monster that will be headed to the beach for lunch next. 

You’ll definitely enjoy a couple of chuckles with the antics of one of the International Station’s crew, DJ (Page Kennedy) who very nearly steals the show with his constant whining and worry that he’ll be eaten next when he’s safely in the station.  And the very precious and precocious little Sophia (Shuya Cai), Suyin’s 6-year-old daughter, will give you a tickle with her charming and disarming smile and twinkle.

The MEG is entertaining, predictable fluff; however, you will absolutely jump a time or two at the sudden surprises that you’re not expecting despite the predictability of the film’s story line.   So, for the next couple of hours, you are invited to ride a wave in the deep blue sea.  Sit on the edge of your seat, bite your nails, grab the arm rest, chomp your popcorn, and if you’re in the 3-D theater like I was, Duck when you see the JAWS of MEG coming straight for YOU!!  THE MEG gives a whole new meaning to the term BITE ME!

THREE BILLBOARDS, WHERE...?

…..outside Ebbing, Missouri, of course.  I know, I know, I have no idea where that is either, however, 3 Billboards is a Movie about billboards, what they say, and who put them up and why, just outside a small town in Missouri:  Ebbing.  A place I wouldn’t necessarily be thrilled to go, but since I’ve never been there, doesn’t matter.

Examining grief, frustration, guilt, anger, and vigilantism, 3 Billboards is the tale of a single woman incensed with the perceived snail-paced failure and ineptitude of local law enforcement to bring swift justice for the rape and murder of her teenage daughter.   They have no suspects and no arrests seven months after the fact, and Mildred Hayes (Frances McDormand) decides to spur the Sheriff (Woody Harrelson) into action.

Sound heavy? An anchor?  An anvil? A half ton Ram truck?  It is!  However, despite the weight of the subject matter, the foul language and violence, it’s probably one of the most noteworthy movies I’ve had the pleasure of seeing this year simply because of the redemptive story line, the superb acting and cast, and the remarkable soundtrack, which I’ve already ordered.

Why is this movie so significant as an Oscar contender?  Primarily because of Frances McDormand’s fiery, feisty, spunky, hard-ass portrayal of Mildred Hayes, which evokes lots of laughter and Sam Rockwell’s deliriously delicious Deputy Dixon who also gets his share of giggles and gasps.  Both actors have won a well-deserved Oscar nod, as well as the surprisingly warm, foul-mouthed family-man, Woody Harrelson as the beloved Sheriff Willoughby.

The plot escalates when snarky Mildred sells her ex-husbands tractor trailer to purchase the ad on the 3 formerly unused billboards on a lonely road near her house and begs the question on a Red Background in Capital Letters: “Why have there been No Arrests in Angel’s murder Sheriff Willoughby?”

The town’s people are infuriated with Mildred for accusing their beloved Sheriff of not doing his job. And when the Sheriff himself contacts Mildred to cajole her into taking down the billboards, he sites that he is doing the very best he can with the investigation, that there’s no DNA evidence and he’s at an impasse.   And besides, he confidentially confides in her, “I have cancer” to which Mildred replies, “I know, everybody knows.”  Of course, she doesn’t budge about the billboards and they remain standing.

There is a sudden, shocking event involving Sheriff Willoughby which prompts all hell to break loose in Ebbing:  people flying out of second story windows, fire bombings and fire in general light up this dark humored account of loss, rage and indignation, not to mention cancer, suicide, rape and murder.

After all that, how can I possibly like this movie?  How can anyone?  Well, the fact is that the writer/director Martin McDonaugh has done a brilliant job of intertwining the right balance of humor, dark and lite, delivering raw emotion, and evoking perfect performances from accomplished and seasoned actors like McDormand and Harrelson.  And McDonaugh sends Sam Rockwell’s Deputy Dixon into obit around Super Stardom Status, which is so well deserved for his whacky, violent, endearing hot and cold character. And after meeting his Mom, you’ll know where he gets that “colorful” character.  How could you NOT like it?

Then, of course,  my Favorite Lannister and recent Doritos icon make an unexpected although all to brief appearance in the movie, and you’ve got a Winner on your hands.  When a movie has the redemptive and rewarding conclusion that 3 Billboards does, you’ll walk out of the theater having been thoroughly entertained and in a good, satisfying humor for the rest of the night.  Although you still man not, like me, want to visit Ebbing, Missouri any time soon.   No offence, Ebbing, please don’t throw me out a window!                             *To buy or Not to buy:  BUY

HOLY MOTHER

Out of respect for the woman in the title role, I urge you, I implore you, for the love of your Father, for the love of your Brother, your Sister, for the Love of GOD, and in particularly, for the Love of your Mother, DO NOT, under any circumstances, see the Horrible Horror show “Mother!”

What an impressive cast to flush down the toilet of turmoil in this disastrous parody (perhaps) of Rosemary’s Baby, a dynamic classic.  I couldn’t tell if that was the intention of the calamitous cacophony called “Mother!”, but the premise was virtually the same:   a young married couple, Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem, (Mia Farrow and whoever)  in a home in the middle of nowhere, (like an old apartment building in New York City)  inviting strangers from God knows where (inviting the odd neighbors over) into their isolated home to create havoc and confusion (bringing odd gifts to Mia Farrow), not to mention a surprise pregnancy and a baby sacrifice.   Michelle Pfeiffer and Ed Harris portray a husband and wife whose son mysteriously dies and a decision is made to have the wake in this home, much to Jennifer Lawrence’s chagrin, and the funeral turns into a drunken brawl of blood lust and debauchery, and that’s just in the first 45 minutes.

There are so many wide angle close ups of Jennifer Lawrence that you may get nauseous as you watch her hapless, confused and borderline psychotic character meander through the house yelling at people to get out, like they would listen, as she’s the one who appears deranged.  And it’s sad to see the gorgeous Michelle and the normally dashing Ed as such a melancholy Gomez and Leticia Adams.

The movie makes no sense, there is no storyline, no plot, no acting, no emotions, just chaos, disruption.  Had I been at the theater, I’d have walked out and demanded my money back!   I feel just horrible that I lost $1.50 at Red Box on this waste of time and money!

So disappointed in Jennifer Lawrence, although I’ve actually not seen her in any Oscar worthy performances, I expected better of her, and Javier Bardem, hated No Country for Old men, but did like him in James Bond’s Skyfall, if he indeed was the one and not Belecio Del Toro.

All in all, I have to admit to turning the movie off within the first horrendous hour or so.  I kept waiting for it to get better, for the acting to improve, or the plot, or the filming, or Anyrhing.  But No. “Mother!”, in and of itself was a REAL HORROR SHOW.   Holy Mother, I swear I’ve not seen anything this bad in years and pray I never do again.

IF YOU’LL BE MY BODYGUARD, I WILL BE YOUR LONG-LOST PAL

That’s right, and who wouldn’t want a Bodyguard made up of a delicious concoction of caustic sarcasm, drop dead good looks, Deadpool moves and a body that most would want to guard for themselves?   Well, maybe Samuel L Jackson wouldn’t necessarily, but he doesn’t really count, does he?  

However, if I were to employ a bodyguard, and in this case, I’d dearly love to have this one, I’d be speaking, of course, of the infamously famous Ryan Reynolds as bodyguard extraordinaire Michael Bryce in the HITMAN’S BODYGUARD!  

From the opening scene at the airport to the closing scene at The Hague, you’ll find yourself gleefully giggling, hanging off the edge of a cliff of excitement and swallowed up in, if somewhat of a predictable, love story of sorts.  Car chases, boat races, blow ups and madcap banter move this fast-paced adventure to it’s final destination:  mortal enemies become best friends.  Who knew?

Poorly rated on Rotten Tomatoes, I’m not sure the “Tomatoes” have the greatest sense of humor or a desire to simply be entertained without thinking too much in regard to the Hitman’s Bodyguard.  Besides, they may not be as enamored of Ryan Reynolds as I am.  Whatever.

 Samuel L. Jackson and his m&#*#@   f*%@!’n mouth does get a little tedious, however, it’s par for his course and expected. He wouldn’t be Samuel L. Jackson without it.  He doesn’t disappoint.  What’s unexpected is the show-stealing appearance of the Latin beauty and equally foul-mouthed, albeit in Spanish, Salma Hayek, as Samuel Jackson’s (Darius Kinkaid’s) imprisoned, angry and volatile wife, Sonia.   She certainly adds the spicy hot sauce to the pairing and I found her a refreshing and unexpected bite to the movie.  I could have had another helping.

Ryan Reynolds as Bryce, in his classic, superior sarcasm that we’ve come to know and love is simply striking in his portrayal of a disgruntled bodyguard coerced by his Interpol-agent-up-for-promotion-ex-girlfriend Amelia (Elodie Yung) into guarding a hitman (Jackson) who had once taken sniper aim at him, (Reynolds), a once high-powered bodyguard.

Darius has to get to The Hague safely within 24 hours to testify against a war criminal, Vladislav Dukhovich (Gary Oldman) and of course, although he can handle himself, (hitman), he’s in Bryce’s competent custody, and Bryce takes his obligation very seriously, even if he doesn’t like it or Darius. Vlad meanwhile, has incorporated an army of assassins to take out Kinkaid no matter the cost, and has an insider reporting every move before Bryce and Kinkaid can make it. 

Bryce and Kinkaid embark on their journey to the Hauge plagued by evil doers around every corner, and because they’ve been thrown together in a slow-moving junker of a stolen car, several, in fact, the embattled Darius, intrigued by Bryce’s willingness to protect him, is compelled to school Bryce on how to win his ex-girlfriend back, since he himself, Darius, has such a resounding relationship with Sonia and can speak to love with some expertise on the subject, much to Bryce’s chagrin.

In route to The Hague, however, Kinkaid and Bryce encounter a multitude of obstacles, a plethora of murderers, forced to embark on multiple mobile pursuits and skiff flips, and entertain us throughout with rousing repartee, engaging in a hateful relationship that, as luck and the script would have it, turns out to be a predictable bromance of the highest caliber.

So a few “Tomatoes” get thrown, I for one loved this “HITMAN’s BODYGUARD”!   Will I buy it?

Of Course.   Everyone needs a Bodyguard!

Wonderful WONDER

WONDERFUL WONDER

What to do, I wondered.  I was bored.  I wondered if a movie would be in order and decided, yes, that would be the perfect remedy for my grey Seattle tedium!   For me, nothing cures doldrums like a good movie.  But I wondered what to see.

Hmmm.   Not much to choose from at the local theater.  What about THOR /RAGNAROK?   Heard it was funny, and although I’m literally wearied to exhaustion with super heroes and their constant and inane battles with digital monsters, I thought, well Thor is nice to look at and the trailer I saw was amusing.  I could give it a go.  

However, when I got to the theater, as fate would have it, THOR was not available at the suggested time due to a technical error of the highest concern:   a bulb blew.   Now what do I see I wonder.

Well, there was only one other option of movies to see at the time we’d designated, and that was a little known (at least to me) movie called WONDER.   No, I’d not seen a trailer nor heard any chatter about it.  Perhaps I’m the only one.   So, walking blindly into the theater, I sat down to see a movie I knew nothing about and therefore I wondered if I’d like it.

WONDER is an absolutely wonderful, delightful, insightful and remarkable film, and it comes with an “I’d buy it” recommendation.  My understanding is that it’s required reading in schools today, and that’s no wonder as this little treasure educates kids and adults alike about kindness, heart, courage and the outright power in loving people rather than hating!

Auggie is a young man attending public school for the first time in his life. He’s quiet, smart, funny, and, unfortunately for this little wanna-be spaceman, disfigured.   The story unfolds by depicting the universe orbiting him:   a big sister who’s been tragically ignored because of her parents focus on Auggie, a warm and supportive mother beautifully and naturally portrayed by Julia Roberts, (whose own motherhood no doubt impacted her powerful role), a laid-back, strong and brilliantly understated dad in Owen Wilson and the friends and foes at school.  They all collide in Auggie’s world and fireworks explode, friendships are built and destroyed and rebuilt, bullies are bullied and life’s lessons are tested and learned by all.  It’s human, it’s honest, and it’s heartwarming.   An uplifting and noble little film with a powerful and effective message:   Kindness Rules at School (and Everywhere Else!)

From the first laughs and guffaws to the touching and tender highlight brought to you from the school gym in the graduation scene by that guy you know you know but can’t quite place (“My name is Indigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!”), if you’re wondering what to do tonight to cure your boredom, wonder no more, GO SEE WONDER!! 

StrangeR BinGing

When I think of binging, much like you, I used to think of overindulging in pizza, ice cream or chocolate cake (my personal favorite).     However, when I binge NOW, it’s to take a Big Bite out of new TV shows on NETFLIX like STRANGER THINGS 1 & 2.   And though it may be a little less fattening to binge on TV than calories, this overindulging can also take a Big Bite out of your TIME, which doesn’t seem to matter much when you’re enveloped in delicious entertainment.

There is almost nothing quite as satisfying as a romp through the 80’s horror shows with six adorable, charismatic and precocious children as those you’ll find as the hero’s in NETFLIX returning hit show.  The homage paid to Stephen King’s FIRESTARTER, Steven Spielberg’s ET and even, I think, a nod to the frightening monster in ALIEN, there is nothing Strange about Stranger Things attracting a huge fan club, of which I am proudly one.

This season we see El’s growth as she becomes a fiery, curious, indominable young lady.  She is, as she’s always been, a delight to watch with the acting prowess of an older and seasoned actress.   Her telekinetic powers stronger than ever.  We also see much more of Will, who’s own capabilities add more drama and excitement to the show.  He’s the focal point for the “monster”, and his Mom, aptly and adeptly played by Winonna Rider, although not as neurotic as in the first season, is still the doting Mom and protector for young Will.   Our Sheriff, the anti-hero hero, is brilliant as a struggling foster Dad to Eleven, and we can sympathize with his frustration at attempting to contain and control a teenage girl.  The rest of the group bring their own special elements to the show, and there is more character development for each member of our now infamous group of champions.

The story line gets off the ground a little slower this season as new players are introduced, however, by season five, I can guarantee your binge will be out of control, you’ll not be able to go to the kitchen for a snack to nibble on as it will now simply be impossible to stop watching!  It was 3:00 am when I finally finished Season Two…Strange, it didn’t feel like a five-hour binge.  

As El attempts to locate her Mom, Will tries to fight the “Monster” from overtaking him, Sheriff Jim searches for the meaning behind the dying pumpkins, Jonathan and Nancy find each other again, Joyce finds love, the boys find a new red-headed club member, the Shadow Grows and the plot thickens.

Funny that I’d recommended it to many family members who pooh-pooed me as a “scary show” freak and are now humbled and hosting STRANGER THINGS Binge Parties at home!   Yes, vindication is mine.

If you’ve not had the opportunity to enjoy the soapy, sudsy, cliff-hanging STRANGER THINGS 1 & 2, do yourself a favor:  get a blanket, your favorite snuggle buddy, and take a big Binge into STRANGER THINGS 2!  That’s not Strange at all!